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3 KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL ASSOCIATION WITH OTHERS

3 keys to successful association with others


MuslimCreed | In obtaining together with other individuals, there are 3 keys that must constantly be held. With it, an individual will be opened up the doors of benefits. The first is restriction. Second, spread out generosity. 3rd, a glowing face.

The first key is restriction. In sharia it's called kafful adza.


The point isn't to disrupt other individuals. Is it relates to his property, his spirit, or his recognize. Whoever has not had the ability to limit himself, so that others are disrupted by him, or injured, after that he can not be said to have great morals.


Lengthy back, throughout Hajj Wada', when individuals from all edges of the Islamic globe collected in the Divine Land, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave a demanding warning about the life, property, and recognize of a Muslim which should not be broken. disrupted. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said during that time:


"Certainly, your blood, your riches and your recognize are protected and pure. Such is the sacredness of your day in this land and in this month." [H.R. AI Bukhari and Muslim from the buddies of Abdullah container Abbas radhiyallahu 'anhuma].


That difficulties a sibling in his belief in his wealth; either by taking, betraying the trust, or deceiving him in buying and so on, and selling. Or in a physical form such as injuring him and striking. Or relates to self-confidence and great name; by gossiping, spitting, grumbling, slandering, berating, after that that individual doesn't have great morals.


The transgression of this activity also depends on that the sufferer/target is. The greater the position or the greater the rights of the individual, the greater the transgression that will be birthed.


Harming moms and dads is certainly a larger transgression compared to harming others. Annoying family members is a greater transgression compared to disturbing others. Backbiting a scholar from an ustadz or the leader of his nation, of course, is a larger transgression compared to backbiting regular individuals. Doing evil to next-door neighbors isn't such as doing evil to individuals that are far.


Regarding next-door neighbors, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam once advised in a hadith:


By Allah, don't think By Allah, don't think. By Allah, don't believe; They asked, "That is it, O Carrier of Allah, sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam?" The Prophet said, "That's an individual whose morals misbehave, so that his next-door neighbor isn't calm and really feels safe from his disruption." [Narrated by Al Bukhari from the buddy of Abu Shuraykh radhiyallahu 'anhu]


The second key is to spread out generosity, which in the language of the Shari'a is called Badzlun Nada.


It means being charitable. Being charitable doesn't need to be comprehended narrowly, just through dispersing money. But wider compared to that. Someone donates his spirit, can his stamina, position and prestige, donate his time, add his knowledge during individuals through his tongue or his pen.


Consisted of in this phase is apologizing to individuals that do evil, hurt, or take rights, or deteriorate our great name although we can settle them. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam once said:


"Fear Allah anywhere you're. And cover the bad with great. Treat your next-door neighbor with great personality." [H.R. At Tirmidhi from the buddies of Muadz container Jabal and Abu Dharr radhiyallahu 'anhuma, estimated by Sheikh Al-Albani rahimahullah in Sahih Sunan At Tirmidhi].


Mercy consists of dealing with other humans with great morals. If we connect with people, of course we'll find their various circumstances. Undoubtedly we'll certainly find something that doesn't please them while we socialize.


So, the best attitude is to forgive and understand. And let one have self-confidence that the mercy he gives, will outcome in great. Enmity will transform right into relationship, mutual mutual protection, and love.


Allah subhanahu wata'ala says:


"And there's no equal in between evil and great. React to evil with something better. If you do, certainly the one that was an opponent will all of a sudden become a caring friend." [Q.S. Fushilat: 34].


Can you forgive every mistake of the individual that hurt you? What's more, if your friend unintentionally does it, of course more deserves to be forgiven right?


However, the human heart is various. It's not simply anybody that can do this. Just those that have persistence and have a big spirit. As Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said in the next verse:



"And it will not have the ability to imitate that but individuals that hold your horses, and will not have the ability to imitate that other than he that has a big spirit." [Q.S. Fushshilat: 35].


But also remember, mercy to someone also sometimes needs careful factor to consider. Because not everybody that does something bad or incorrect deserves to be forgiven. Let the one that forgives his brother's mistakes have hope:


1. Obtain mercy from His grace and Allah. Because in the verse it's specified that whoever forgives and does ishlah, after that the reward is with Allah.


2. Maintain a connection and love with his sibling that has done something bad to him. Ugliness, if repaid with ugliness, it will be challenging to refix the problem. On the various other hand, if ugliness is confronted with benefits, after that individuals that do bad are expected to understand and settle with generosity as well.


It is a various situation if individuals that do bad points are known to do bad points. So, that's not deserving of mercy. Because, it's feared that injustice will become worse.


Our scholars keep in mind that mistakes and injustice can be forgiven if by giving mercy there will be a better impact. That's what is called ishlah. And this has also been mentioned in the verse.

"And the recompense of evil is something deserving. So whoever forgives and does ishlah, his reward is from Allah." [Q.S. Ash Shura': 40].


Ishlah (acting with something that has a great effect) is obligatory. While flexible, its nature is the main point (sunnah). It means 'if apologizing actually causes a poor impact, after that what must be done is to retaliate. Let's not do what is sunnah, while what is obligatory doesn't come real.


The 3rd type in obtaining together with others is attempting to appearance great.


Showing a glowing face when we satisfy our siblings. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:



"Don't ignore the ma'ruf issue, also if it's just through a wonderful face when you satisfy your sibling." [H.R. Muslim from the buddies of Abu Dharr radhiyallahu 'anhu].


It was told from Ibn Abbas radhiyallahu 'anhu that at once he was inquired about al-birr or benefits. So his answer, al-birr is a pleasant face and a crisp mouth.


Visitors, if we are sweet-faced when we satisfy each various other, it will give a great impression. Immediately, we have infiltrated a feeling of delight and enjoyment in the hearts of our friends. Love will be birthed, the spirit will feel spacious.


However, if our faces are sullen and old and wrinkly when we satisfy our family members, there's no wide grin, neither happy words, after that usually people will keep away from us.


If people are far from us, we ourselves are the losers. The globe really feels constrained, the spirit becomes depressed. If this isn't instantly changed, it's feared that it will lead to anxiety.


Doctors have provided efficacious prescriptions for those afflicted with this illness. Amongst their suggestions; leave the points that can make him more depressed. Attempt to have an open up heart. A glowing face will decrease the high risk of this illness. He will become a liked one amongst individuals. It's hoped that the illness will be treated. bi idznillah ta'ala.


[Adapted from the treatise of Shaykh Ibn 'Utsaimin with some changes]

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